


Only Human

by Katiegirl901



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternative ending to Daughters, F/M, Family, PTSD, Papa Bear Jethro Gibbs, What if it wasn't Ziva at the top of the stairs?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 03:14:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21246548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katiegirl901/pseuds/Katiegirl901
Summary: What would have happened if it had been Jack at the top of the stairs at the end of 'Daughters' instead of Ziva? An alternate ending to the season finale and a look at everything Gibbs and Jack have endured over the past year, and the conversation that should have happened between Gibbs and Ellie.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My dumbass thought that I had published this here already... I was wrong apparently so please enjoy this already half completed story that's been published on FF for a couple of months...

One

Love truly was a fickle bitch. That was the only thought going through her mind as she parked her blue Mini Cooper on the street outside of Leroy Jethro Gibbs' house. Her talk with Grace had been weighing on her for the past few days and everything with Emily Fornell had reminded her just how short life could be.

She turned off her car and unbuckled her seatbelt, she took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart and silence the rational part of her mind that was telling her to start the car back up and drive away. She wasn't about to walk into Gibbs' house and tell him that somewhere along the way she had fallen in love with him, she was smarter than that, but she knew that she couldn't keep her feelings to herself even if the idea of losing him terrified her.

She knew that life could take unexpected and often unpleasant turns better than anyone and having such a sharp and painful reminder of that had only solidified the need to speak her mind on this particular subject. The idea of losing him if he didn't feel the same way terrified her but she knew that if she didn't tell him and something happened she would never forgive herself for it.

She had come close enough to losing him on multiple occasions in the last six months that she knew her feelings were more than passing fancy, it ran deeper than that and after everything that had happened with Gibbs and Ellie and the submarine she had been ready to tell him that she felt more than friendship when she looked at him but then Ellen Wallace had happened. She hadn't been prepared for the pain that had come with that particular revelation and it had taken her awhile to bounce back from that, she suspected that almost losing Gibbs during the Deakin case had been the reason she had gotten over it at all.

Talking to Grace had been the next step she had needed, finally being able to voice her feelings, even if it wasn't to the intended target, had been like taking a weight off of her shoulders and then everything with Emily had happened. A part of her wanted to wait until a better time, to wait until they were both on more stable ground but the other part of her knew that a better time may never come and she may never have the chance to say something again. With that thought in mind she opened her car door and made the short journey to his front door. 

She tried the knob and found that it opened easily, she let herself in and shut the door behind her, making sure to lock it, and fumbled around for a light switch. She finally gave up after a minute and blindly made her way through the dark house to the basement, where Gibbs would no doubt be working on his boat to calm his mind after the absolute Hell he had endured over the past week and a half.

She cringed when she knocked over a picture frame in the dining room and hastily picked it up and returned it to its spot before continuing on her way. She heard Gibbs call out something from the basement but couldn't quite make it out as she rounded the corner. She offered him a tired smile when she saw his questioning look.

She knew he probably hadn't been expecting her, they hadn't been in the best place for awhile and she hadn't exactly made a solid effort to reach out to him. It had been him to reach out to her when Emily had been hospitalized, him to reach for her hand for comfort that she had been ready and willing to give. He had made the effort for the past few days and she knew it was her turn now to return the favour.

"Hey, Cowboy." She greeted softly.

"Jack." He replied with a nod.

His greeting weary but not unkind, she understood his confusion, it had been a long time since she had been in his home and even longer since she had just shown up unannounced. Christmas, probably.

"What're you doing here?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"I wanted to make sure you were doing okay." She replied with a small shrug.

She saw him debating how to respond for a moment and was completely unsurprised when he just shrugged.

"Well at least we're on the same page." She replied with a small sigh.

She saw the mason jar of bourbon sitting on the work bench and reached for it, Gibbs didn't stop her as she took a sip before putting it back down. She needed a bit of liquid courage but she certainly didn't need Gibbs to think she was drunk.

"I think we need to talk." She said quietly, "I was going to wait until things calmed down but... I don't know if there's ever going to be a good time."

She saw the slight panic in Gibbs' eyes as he put down his sanding block and turned to face her more fully.

"You okay, Jack?" He asked, his voice conveying his concern.

"I'm fine." She assured him quickly, "I just... I was having a talk with Grace the other day and she said something that really hit home."

She trailed off and fixed her eyes on the wall across from her, she needed a minute to collect her thoughts before she continued.

"What'd she say?" Gibbs asked when she didn't continue after a few moments.

"That the fear of being rejected hurts less then the realization that you will never get to tell someone how you feel. " She said quietly, "it's cheesy and stupid but it hit home."

She saw Gibbs wipe off his hands and step closer to her, the expression on his face was not one she had ever seen before and she couldn't place what it was.

"And how do you feel?" Gibbs asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Right now, scared that I'm about to lose one of my best friends." She replied, her eyes not meeting his.

"Don't think you have to worry about that."

She looked up when she realized that he was now standing right in front of her and she could recognize the look on his face, hope. Hope and uncertainty.

"Are you sure?" She asked quietly.

"Guess there's only one way to find out." He shrugged.

She stepped closer to him and placed her hand on his cheek, carefully avoiding the cut below his eye that had only just started to heal over. She tilted her head up and offered him a small smile before she stood on her tiptoes and brushed a light, barely there kiss across his lips. She pulled back and looked him in the eyes for the first time that evening and could see the conflict in his eyes as he studied her.

"People that get close..." He swallowed as he looked down at her, "they get hurt, Jack."

"I can take care of myself, Gibbs." She promised him quietly, "I'll be just fine."

"You can't be sure of that." He argued.

"Guess there's only one way to find out." She replied with a shrug.

She saw his slight smirk when she repeated his earlier words back to him but it quickly disappeared as he shook his head.

"Can't risk that with you, Jack." He said, "can't... I can't lose you too."

She could see how much that small confession had cost him and gently brushed her thumb back and forth over his cheek.

"I'm not going anywhere, Cowboy." She replied softly, "If you don't want this then just tell me, but if you do then I'm here, I know the good, the bad and the ugly and I've made it this far... I'm not going anywhere."

She could see his mind whirring, she had no idea what he was thinking about but she smiled softly when he finally nodded and rested one of his hands on her hip and lowered his head so that his forehead was resting against hers.

"Okay." He muttered, "wanna take it slow though, don't wanna screw up this time."

"Whatever you need." Jack replied with a small nod.

She slid her hand down from his cheek and wrapped it around the back of his neck before tilting her head to claim his lips in another kiss. It started out chaste but she slowly deepened it, her tongue darting across his lower lip silently asking for access that he readily granted. She ran her fingers through the short hair at the back of his neck and couldn't help the soft moan that escaped when he gently nipped at her bottom lip. She felt his hand tighten on her hip when he heard the moan and was about to close the last bit of distance between them when she felt him start to slow the kiss and back away.

"Not a good idea tonight." He muttered, taking in a deep breath, "we're both tired and after everything..."

"Okay." She agreed, running her fingers over the back of his neck to reassure him that she understood, "I think maybe I should head home for the night anyways, give us both some time to get our heads on straight."

"You okay to drive?"

"I'll be just fine." She promised, "I'll even text you when I get home."

She saw him roll his eyes at the concept of texting but knew that he would feel better if he knew she was safe, she would have felt exactly the same had the roles been reversed. She stepped away from him and gave his hand a quick squeeze before goodnight and making her way back outside to her car.


	2. Chapter Two

Two

She looked out the small window and studied the clouds floating by beneath them. She still wasn’t completely sure how they had ended up there but she knew that she was exactly where she needed to be.

They had spent the day before working on the paperwork to tie up their last case before Leon had sent them on a two week mandatory leave to recover from everything that had happened in the last six months. She could tell that everyone, even Gibbs shockingly, had appreciated the gesture. The only thing that had been off was the fact that Ellie had been nowhere to be found, Gibbs had arrived at work to find a stack of her reports for the case with a note that she was taking time off. He had come up to her office to see if she had known anything but she had been just as in the dark as he had been.

After a bit of prodding Leon had admitted that Ellie had asked for time off to go home, a reasonable request in Jack’s mind but she could tell by the look on Gibbs’ face that he was concerned about something. She hadn’t pushed him on it though, she knew he would come to her when he was ready.

“You good?”

She was broken out of her thoughts by Gibbs’ voice next to her, she looked over at him questioningly and he nodded down to her bouncing knee.

“I’m fine,” She replied, “just not a fan of being locked in spaces that I can’t get out of.” 

He placed a hand on her knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She gave him a half smile and rested her hand on top of his.

“So what did Ellie’s mom say to you when she called?” She asked quietly.

“That she was worried, Bishop didn’t eat anything all day yesterday and Barb didn’t think she was sleeping either.” Gibbs replied with a small sigh.

She had gotten a call from Gibbs asking her to accompany him to Oklahoma early that morning and eight hours later they were on a plane on their way to the home Ellie had grown up in.

“And you’re sure she’s okay that I’m coming?”

She really didn’t want to put out Ellie’s parents or worse be a very unpleasant surprise when Gibbs didn’t show up alone.

“Yeah, she asked me to come out and I told her I had someone who might be more help than me.” Gibbs replied.

“Is this the first time she’s done this?”

“No, she did it once right before she got divorced.” Gibbs said, his jaw tightening at the memory, “Her husband cheated on her.”

“And you left work to be with her?”

“Had a case at Leavenworth.”

“You would have gone anyway.” Jack gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah.” He agreed quietly.

She turned back to the window and let him be alone with his thoughts, she brushed her thumb back and forth over his hand absentmindedly as her own thoughts wandered.

They hadn’t talked about their conversation and kiss, things had shifted between them and she knew they both felt it but like most things with them it went unmentioned. Eventually they would need to talk about it, or at least verbally acknowledge it but for now she was content to just let it play out.

N*C*I*S

Jack’s eyes widened as Gibbs turned the rental truck down a long, tree lined, gravel driveway. She was a west coast girl but she could definitely appreciate the beauty of the rolling fields of Oklahoma, between the trees she could see a plow in the field to her left and horses in the field to her right. Gibbs slowed the truck further and rolled down the window and stuck his arm out the window to offer a wave to the driver of the plow who waved back.

“Ellie’s dad.” Gibbs explained as he continued on down the driveway, “Johnathan, everyone just calls him John.”

Jack nodded but didn’t respond as the farmhouse came into view, a two story yellow building with a green roof and shutters and a wraparound porch, exactly what she pictured when she thought of a farmhouse. She could see a large red barn off to the left and several trucks and a small car parked in the driveway.Gibbs pulled up beside the other vehicles and put the truck in park before turning to her.

“Fair warning, the Bishop’s… Can be a lot.”

She raised an eyebrow and him and shrugged, “I love a challenge.”

Gibbs snorted and nodded before opening the drivers side door and sliding out of the truck. She unbuckled herself and opened her own door, she went to grab her bag out of the backseat but Gibbs had beat her to it and had both of their bags in his hands.

“I can carry my own bag.” She reminded him.

“Yeah, I know.”

She rolled her eyes and followed him across the driveway and up the front steps, her foot had barely touched the bottom step to the porch when the door opened to reveal an older woman who if she had to put money on it was Ellie’s mother.

“Gibbs.” She greeted with a fond smile before her eyes landed on Jack.

Jack saw her eyes widen a moment in surprise but she quickly covered it with a friendly smile and an outstretched hand.

“Barbra Bishop, you must be Jack.”

Jack accepted the hand and offered the other woman a smile, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I've heard a lot about you from my daughter.”

“Speaking of…” Gibbs said, looking around.

Jack rolled her eyes at his interruption but Barbra just smiled and shook her head.

“She’s upstairs in her room, I would offer to go get her but I think she’s taking a nap and it’s the first time she’s slept since she got here.” Barbra explained, “why don’t I show you to your rooms so you can get settled in, I made up two rooms but if you would rather share that’s perfectly fine too.”

Jack saw the way Barbra was studying the two of them and risked a quick glance at Gibbs who only shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe separate rooms would be better for now.” Jack said slowly.

They barely knew what they were and up until that point she hadn’t even considered what they would tell the ‘kids’. She also wanted Ellie to be able to approach either of them if she needed to talk and not feel like she was interrupting something or getting in the way. Barbra nodded and lead them up the stairs, Jack took in the family photos and memorabilia from when Ellie was a child scattered around the house. She couldn’t help but pause when she came across a picture of a little girl with messy blonde hair and her two front teeth missing, proudly brandishing her scraped elbows.

“Ellie took her training wheels off of her bike.” Gibbs explained quietly, “Her fourth birthday, didn’t even cry.”

Jack looked up and gave him a soft smile, she didn’t know how he knew the story but she could hear the pride in his voice as he told it.

“So this is your room, Gibbs.” Barbra said, breaking them out of their moment.

She pointed to an open door and Gibbs placed his suitcase down before following her down to the next door.

“And this’ll be your room, Jack.” She said, gesturing into the homey bedroom, “The bathroom is just through there, it connects to Gibbs’ room too so just make sure both doors are closed, dressers are empty in both rooms so feel free to unpack your stuff. Supper’s in about an hour so just take your time settling in, if you need anything let me know.”

“This is perfect, thank you.” Jack replied sincerely.

“Thanks, Barb.” Gibbs echoed.

Barbra nodded and slipped out of the room leaving them on their own. Jack looked around and took in the yellow walls and white furniture, there was a double bed underneath the far window, the curtains framing the headboard, to the left there was a white dresser beside the door to the bathroom with towels neatly folded on top and in the right corner there was a small rocking chair with a homemade throw blanket over the back.

“I’ll let you get unpacked.” Gibbs said, placing her suitcase down on the bed.

She caught his hand as he walked past her and pulled him back lightly.

“I only asked for separate rooms because I wasn’t sure what you wanted to tell Ellie.” She explained quietly, “and I wanted Ellie to feel like she could come to either of us without feeling like she was intruding on _our_ space.”

“I know.” Gibbs replied, he reached up and brushed a stray hair behind her ear with his free hand, “I woulda said the same thing.”

She smiled softly and gave his hand a squeeze before letting it go, she nodded towards the bathroom door and grinned.

“Besides, it’s not like we can’t sneak around like teenagers.”

Gibbs snorted and shook his head, “I like the way you think.”

“Yeah?” She bit her lip coyly and then smirked up at him.

“Yeah.” He whispered before lowering his head to claim her lips in a quick kiss.

She pressed her hand against the back of his neck when he tried to pull away and pressed a few more quick pecks against his lips before letting him pull back.

“Go unpack.” She ordered smugly.

Gibbs rolled his eyes and gave her side a gentle pinch before leaving her alone to unpack. It took her less than ten minutes to unpack her bag and hang up the few items that needed to be hung in the small closet. Once she was done she wandered over to the window and looked down at the field beneath her, the long grass was blowing in the wind and there were a few horses wandering around at the far end of the field where the grass was shorter and packed down. She watched them for a few minutes before making her way through the shared bathroom to Gibbs’ room where he was putting away the last item in his bag.

Gibbs’ room was set up almost exactly the same as hers the only difference was that his furniture was a dark brown instead of white and his room was missing the rocking chair.

“I’m gonna head downstairs, you wanna come or just relax for a bit?”

“I think I’ll come down.” Jack replied, “I wouldn’t mind talking to Barbra for a bit before Ellie wakes up.”

“Yeah.” Gibbs agreed.

“And I know it goes without saying but… I’m not here as her psychologist or her colleague.”

“I know.” Gibbs replied, “that’s not why I brought you with me, I’m not here as her boss.”

“I think you’ve always been more than a boss to her.” Jack said quietly, “a boss doesn’t know that his subordinate fell off of her bike on her fourth birthday and didn’t cry, a boss doesn’t fly four hours and drive for another hour because he’s worried, a boss doesn’t but a _father_ does.”

“Bishop’s got a dad.” Gibbs protested.

“There’s no rule saying she can’t have more than one.” Jack replied with a shrug, “come on, Cowboy, I want to see if Barbra needs any help with supper.”

She left him standing in the room staring after her with a dumbfounded expression on his face. She knew Ellie’s situation was unique for him, to her understanding Tony and Tim had both had strained to almost non-existent relationships with their respective fathers for most of their lives, Ziva had never really had a father, Abby’s father had passed before she had joined NCIS and Nick and Jimmy had never really known their fathers. Ellie was the only one who had come from a relatively happy and normal family, as an outsider she could see that the young blonde leaned heavily on Gibbs and depended on him as more than a boss, co-worker or friend but she could understand why Gibbs wouldn’t want to step on her father’s toes. It was a fine line he had to walk but sometimes she feared that he strayed to far on the side of caution, and it hurt Ellie more than it helped.

She made her way down the stairs and she had almost made it down to the open concept first floor before she heard him following her. She felt his hand settle low on her back as he finally caught up to her on the bottom of the stairs and she let him lead her to the kitchen where Barbra was peeling carrots.

“All settled in already?” She asked, looking up in surprise.

“Yup.” Gibbs replied, “need any help.”

“I didn’t invite you to make you do manual labour.” Barbra stated, “but since I know you won’t take no for an answer you can check on the chicken, can I offer you anything to drink, Jack? Maybe a beer, some iced tea or water?”

“I’m okay right now, thank you though.” Jack replied, “is there anything I can do to help?”

“I think I’m okay right now.” Barbra replied, “why don’t you just have a seat.”

Jack nodded and pulled out one of the chairs and sat down at the island across from Barbra.

“So tell me a bit about yourself.” Barbra said brightly, “Eleanor said you were an agent, are you on Gibbs’ team or do you run your own team?”

“Actually I don’t work on one particular team.” Jack replied, “I’m the resident Forensic Psychologist, I kind of float around to wherever I’m needed.”

“You’re a doctor?” Barbra asked in surprise, “I don’t think my daughter ever mentioned that.”

“I am, but I have the same title as Gibbs or Ellie so everyone tends to forget.” Jack replied, “It’s been a really long time since I’ve heard the words Doctor Sloane in a sentence, I like it that way, people tend to dislike Doctors, not that they like cops a whole lot more though.”

“I’ll bet.” Barbra agreed, “Eleanor said that you seem to really like NCIS though.”

Jack saw Gibbs stand up from checking the chicken and met his eyes.

“I love it.” She replied, “it’s home now.”

“Where are you from originally?”

“California, DC is a big change but I’m really enjoying it.”

“Do you have any family in Washington?”

“Um, not really.” Jack replied slowly, “NCIS is my family.”

Her eyes met Gibbs’ again and he offered her a small smile that had her smiling in return.

“Eleanor says the same thing.” Barbra stated, “I used to worry about her out there all alone, I still do but I worry less now that I know she has a good support system.”

“You’re daughter is a strong young woman,” Jack commented seriously, “and an amazing Agent.”

“She’s always been a tough cookie… That’s why I was so worried when she came home unannounced and she just hasn’t been herself.” Barbra admitted quietly, “even when she came home after her divorce she was still, Eleanor I guess but now…”

“She didn’t mention anything?” Jack asked, biting on her thumb nail.

“No but that’s not shocking, my daughter doesn’t really open up to a lot of people and she definitely doesn’t open up to my husband or I about work.” Barbra replied, “Sometimes she’ll talk to her brothers but I called all of them and they hadn’t heard anything… That’s when I called you.” She added, turning to Gibbs, “You’re the one person I know she’ll talk to.”

“I can try.” Gibbs replied, “but I’m not sure how much good it’ll do.”

“She adores you, if anyone can do it you can.”

Jack couldn’t argue with the fact that Ellie relied on and opened up to Gibbs but she was a bit worried about all of the pressure that was being put on him. There was only so much he could do if Ellie wasn’t willing to ask for help.

She watched as Gibbs reached for an unpeeledcarrot off of the counter only to be whacked in the hand by Barbra who glared at him and pointed her peeler at him.

“No.” She said firmly, “potatoes are one thing but you are not mangling my carrots with your knife.”

Gibbs smirked and held his hands up in surrender before stepping away from the counter. Jack could tell there was a story there but didn’t ask about it as Gibbs came up behind her and rested his hands on the back of her seat. She leaned back a bit and could feel the warmth radiating off of him as he brushed one of his thumbs back and forth across her back discreetly.


	3. Chapter Three

Three

By the time Barbra pulled an absolutely delicious smelling chicken out of the oven a very dusty John Bishop had appeared from outside and introductions had been made before he had gone to change. Jack and Gibbs had managed to convince Barb to let them set the table and were just finishing as a bleary eyed Ellie appeared wearing yoga pants and a baggy NCIS t-shirt. She blinked a few times when she noticed them and shook her head once to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

“Are you really in Oklahoma?” She asked, her voice hoarse.

“Howdy.” Gibbs replied with a small grin.

“Hey, kiddo.” Jack added.

“How…Why?” Ellie asked, still not quite understanding what was going on, “do we have a case I don’t know about?”

“No.” Gibbs replied, “just thought a break from the city would be nice.”

“You have a cabin.” Ellie pointed out skeptically, “a cabin that’s a lot closer to DC.”

“Eleanor you’re being rude.” Barbra chastised.

“You called them, didn’t you?” Ellie said, turning to her mother with her eyes flashing angrily.

“I did.” Barbra admitted, “only because I was worried.”

“Unbelievable.” Ellie muttered.

Jack saw her roll her eyes and turn around and she was almost sure she was about to go back upstairs but Ellie only crossed the kitchen to wash her hands before taking a seat at the kitchen table, she sat down much harder than was probably necessary but no one commented on it. Jack and Gibbs took their seats across the table from Ellie and Barbra sat at the foot of the table. John appeared a moment later and took his seat at the head of the table and they began passing food around in silence.

“So how was your flight in?” John asked after everyone had served themselves.

“Good.” Jack replied when Gibbs didn’t speak up.

She glanced over at him and saw that his eyes were fixed on Ellie and the practically bare plate in front of her. She had taken a little bit of everything but Jack suspected it was more to appease her mother than out of any real desire to eat anything.

“This is amazing.” Jack commented as she took a bite of her chicken, “Try it, Ellie.”

“I’m not that hungry.” Ellie muttered.

She looked down at her plate and pushed some food around before taking a sip of her iced tea.

“Eat.” Gibbs ordered quietly.

Jack’s eyes widened in surprise at the quiet but firm tone he used and she could tell by the looks on their faces that John and Barbra were thinking the same thing. Ellie’s eyes flashed at Gibbs and she waited for Ellie to challenge him but she finally just sighed and rolled her eyes before taking a bite of her food.

“Happy?” She asked, raising her eyebrow at Gibbs.

“Thrilled.” Gibbs deadpanned

Ellie rolled her eyes again but took another bite of food.

“If you keep rolling your eyes they’ll get stuck like that.” Gibbs warned.

“I’m not five.” Ellie retorted.

“Then stop acting like it.”

Jack’s fork stopped midway to her mouth as she watched Ellie process what Gibbs had just said. She really hadn’t expected the tough love tactic right out of the gate but apparently that was what Gibbs had chosen and he seemed to be sticking with it. Ellie clenched her jaw and Jack could tell she was debating leaving the table but she finally just glared at Gibbs before silently finishing her plate.

“So your flight was good? You didn’t have any problem finding a rental?” John asked, looking at Jack and Gibbs.

“It was fine, the airport was actually pretty easy to navigate.” Jack replied, “And the drive was beautiful.”

“Where are you from, Jack?”

“San Diego, so this is a really nice change for me.” Jack responded, “I haven’t really been able to leave DC since I moved, it’s nice to get out of the city.”

“I’ll bet, I don’t know how you guys can handle the city.” John commented, “I don’t even like going into town and it’s pretty small.”

“May I be excused.” Ellie asked with a sigh.

“I made dessert.” Barbra offered, “that cinnamon cake you and Gibbs love.”

“I’m not hungry, I was going to go out and feed the horses.”

“Okay.” Barbra allowed with a small sigh.

Ellie pushed her chair back and brought her plate over to the sink before disappearing up the stairs. She returned a few minutes later in jeans and a long sleeved shirt before disappearing outside.

“The anger is new.” Barbra commented as soon as the front door had shut.

“I have a feeling that has more to do with us being here than anything else.” Jack replied.

“I’ll go talk to her.” Gibbs pushed his chair back with a sigh, “supper was great, thanks, Barb.”

N*C*I*S

Outside it didn’t take long for Gibbs to find Ellie, he walked through the open barn doors to find her scooping feed into several multicoloured buckets on the ground.

“Want some help?” He asked, leaning against a stall door.

“Nope.” Ellie replied shortly.

“Wanna tell me why you’re pissed at me?”

She paused what she was doing and turned to look at him incredulously, “are you seriously asking me that, Gibbs?” She scoffed and went back to scooping feed, “you’re an investigator, use your magical gut and figure it out.”

“I’m an investigator, not a mind reader, Bishop.” Gibbs replied calmly, “can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s bothering you.”

“_Now_ you want to help?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that _now_ you want to help? _Now_ you finally notice that something’s wrong? Where the hell have you been, Gibbs?”

He looked at her and barely managed to mask his shock at her outburst.

“I’ve been falling apart and you’ve barely noticed! I mean I don’t know why I’m so upset about it, it’s not like it’s your job to care, you’re only my boss.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” Gibbs argued.

“How is it not true?” Ellie exclaimed, “ you’ve made it perfectly clear to me that I’ll always be second best, I’m never going to be who you want me to be because I’m not Ziva, I’m never going to be Ziva. I’m never going to be the perfect agent or the perfect daughter, I’m just me and that’s never going to be good enough for you!”

“That’s not true-”

“Isn’t it though? You looked me dead in the eye and told me that every time you look at me all you see is that I’m not her, that hurt, Gibbs, that really hurt and you've barely been there since then. So tell me, how is that not true?”

“I screwed up.” He admitted.

“No shit!” Ellie replied bitterly.

She turned on her heel and left, leaving him standing there at a loss for words. He hadn’t realized how much his words had affected her, he should have but he had been so involved in, so distracted by his own demons that he hadn’t seen the daughter he had left falling apart, being consumed by her own demons.

N*C*I*S

Jack looked up from her spot at the kitchen sink when the kitchen door slammed shut followed by the sound of footsteps running up the stairs and a bedroom door slamming. She looked over at Barbra with a raised eyebrow but the other woman just shrugged. Gibbs appeared a moment later in a much calmer fashion but she could tell that something had shaken him up.

“I take it your talk didn’t exactly go well.” She commented softly as he joined them in the kitchen.

“Well she’s still got a healthy set of lungs.” Gibbs replied dryly.

“She yelled?” Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh yeah.” Gibbs replied, “I deserved it though.”

“Did you yell back?” Jack asked warily.

They had all heard about the last screaming match Gibbs and Ellie had had, she had been in her office and she had caught the tail end of it and she could only hope that Gibbs hadn’t turned it into another knock down, drag out screaming match.

“No.” He assured her, “barely got ten words in edgewise before she got going.”

“Will she calm herself down or is it going to be one of those things that’s going to fester and just get worse?” Jack asked.

“Probably not getting any better.”

Jack sighed and handed him her dishtowel, “finish this, I’ll go deal with her.”

“Second door on the left!” Barbra called after her as she jogged up the stairs.

She could hear Barbra and Gibbs talking quietly in the kitchen, the sound faded out as she hit the top of the stairs and knocked on Ellie’s door.

“Go away, Gibbs!”

“It’s me.” Jack said softly, “can I come in for a minute?”

She waited a minute and offered Ellie a small smile when the young woman opened the door.

“El…” She whispered when she saw her red eyes and tear stained cheeks, “come here.”

She stepped into Ellie’s bedroom and pulled her in for a hug, she rubbed her hand up and down her back and brushed her other hand over her hair.

“You wanna tell me what happened?” She asked quietly.

“I just...” Her voice broke in a sob before she could continue, “I can’t do it anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” Jack prompted gently, she steered them towards the bed and sat down with Ellie beside her.

“Can’t keep trying to be her.” Ellie hiccuped, “I can’t be who he needs me to be and I’m killing myself trying and he doesn’t even notice, he hasn’t been there and I can’t...”

Jack continued to rub her back as she shook with heart wrenching sobs, she had no idea what Ellie was talking about but it broke her heart to see her so upset.

“I’m going to need a bit more, babe.” She whispered, “who’re you talking about?”

“Gibbs.” She sniffed once and bit her lip, “he told me that every time he looks at me all he sees is that I’m not her.”

“Who?”

“Ziva.”

Jack was going to kill him. She knew exactly when this had happened, she had heard enough of the conversation to know exactly what Ellie was talking about but she hadn’t said anything, when she’d asked about the situation in general Gibbs had assured her that they had settled it. She understood how much pain the subject brought him, it was the same as when someone brought up Faith with her but she would never look Ellie in the eyes and tell her she would never live up to someone she didn’t even know.

“I don’t think he meant it that way, Ellie.”

“You’re on his side.” She accused.

“No, I certainly don’t agree with what he did, he should never have said that but that was a hard case for everyone. I am not saying that that excuses it but maybe cut him a bit of slack.”

“It wasn’t just that though.” Ellie said, her voice cracking again, “he hasn’t been there, after everything that happened at Christmas, after the lake and the submarine, he’s been so caught up in his rule that he hasn’t been there.”

“There’s been a lot going on.” Jack replied quietly, “again I’m not excusing it but Gibbs is only human... I think everyone forgets that sometimes, he’s a human being who messes up just like you or I and right now he’s having a hard time too... I’m not saying that he hasn’t dropped the ball, maybe he has but every once in awhile he needs to be allowed a mistake... No one is perfect and he has a hard job, being in charge of people in our line of work is hard enough when they’re just team members but when you love them like your kids it’s even harder.” She paused for a minute to catch her breath and gather her thoughts. “Parenting isn’t easy in a normal situation and Gibbs has gone through hell, losing a child isn’t easy, losing two has to be torture and every time he looks at you, or Tim, Nick or Jimmy he sees every bad thing that’s ever happened happening to you guys... Every case he’s ever worked, every crime scene he’s ever attended, he knows what can happen if you’re not careful and his worst nightmare is losing one of you kids... Of course he sees Ziva when he looks at you, you’re both strong, capable, gorgeous young women and he sees those similarities but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you for being you.”

“Then why would he say what he said?”

“Because he’s Gibbs, he’s emotionally stunted.” Jack replied with a small smirk, “I think he was scared of losing you and Gibbs doesn’t handle fear well, when he gets scared he distances himself, he pushes people away because he thinks he’s protecting them... He handled it horribly but I honestly believe that he was just trying to protect you.”

“He did it badly.” Ellie said with a shaky laugh.

“Like I said, he’s emotionally stunted.” Jack said again, “but he means well and I know how much he loves you.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

“I would, the whole trip up here he was worried about you, and I mean visibly worried, he didn’t try to hide it at all.” Jack replied, “and when we got here he saw me looking at the picture in the hallway where you’re all scraped up, he told me the story behind it and he sounded so proud that you never cried... A boss doesn’t remember those kinds of things, a boss doesn’t know exactly how you take your coffee and what kind of shampoo you use so he can make sure he has it in the shower when you need to spend the night. A boss doesn’t have pictures of his team sitting, framed in his living room and he definitely doesn’t have a photo tucked in his wallet... A boss doesn’t do those things but a proud dad does and that man downstairs, as stubborn and emotionally moronic as he is, is so proud of you... When I first moved here I asked him to tell me a bit about his team and the first person he told me about was you, how you use food to remember things and how you love playing baseball and how you chop wood when your frustrated. He told me about how you like to sit on the floor to work whenever you can and that you used to love this tv show about a clown when you were little. If he didn’t love you he wouldn’t bother to remember those small details.”

“He said all that?” Ellie asked quietly.

“Yeah he did.” Jack smiled softly and ran her hand over Ellie’s hair. “That doesn’t excuse what he did, it doesn’t make it right or fair but he’s had a lot going on and he made a mistake, I’m not saying forgive him for it but maybe give him a chance to make it right.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Ellie promised softly, “I can’t forgive him yet, I... It hurt when he said that and it hurts that he hasn’t been there but I’ll talk to him.”

“That’s all I ask.” Jack replied, “now, you wanna tell me what else is going on? Because I know it’s not just Gibbs being an idiot.”

Ellie sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “This year’s been hard, I just need time to work through it.”

“Sometimes we all need a bit of time.” Jack assured her quietly, “do you want to tell me about it?”

“Maybe later?” Ellie asked, looking at her tiredly, “I don’t really want to deal with anything else tonight.”

“You got it.” Jack promised, “ but you know I’m here whenever you’re ready, and so is Gibbs.”

“I know, thanks, Jack.”

Jack wrapped her arms around the younger blonde again and kissed the side of her head.

“Anytime.” She stood up and studied Ellie for a moment, “do you want some time or do you want me to send Gibbs up?”

Ellie took a deep breath and nodded slowly. “Send him up, please, I may as well get this over with.”


	4. Chapter Four

Four

Gibbs knocked lightly on Ellie’s bedroom door before letting himself into the room. He shut the door behind him and turned to find Ellie sitting on the double bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. Although most of the other bedrooms in the house had been turned into generic but homey guest rooms Gibbs would be willing to bet that Ellie’s was very similar to when she had been a teenager. There was a white double bed under the window, a dresser and a desk pushed against each wall and a white rag rug in the middle of the room, there were still a few posters of bands Gibbs didn’t recognize on the walls and medals from various sports or clubs hung over the desk. 

“Hey, Kid.” He said quietly.

“Hi.” 

He hated that her eyes were red and her cheeks were still wet with tears, he hated that he was the reason for it. 

“I talked to Jack.” She said after a minute, “She made me realize a few things.” 

“I screwed up.” Gibbs admitted before she could continue, “I dropped the ball.”

“Yeah.” She agreed quietly, “and that hurt but Jack reminded me that you’re only human.” 

Gibbs snorted at that but nodded.

“What you said about Ziva though… I can’t just forget that.” 

“I know.” Gibbs replied, “don’t expect you too… I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

“I know.” Ellie said, swallowing around the lump in her throat, “I know but that doesn’t make it hurt any less, I hate knowing that I’m never going to be who you want me to be.”

Gibbs closed his eyes and swallowed, now was the time he needed to make a decision. He could either brush her off and run away because he was afraid or he could do exactly what Diane had told him to and let someone in. He was scared. He was starting to let people in, really let them in for the first time in over thirty years and he was running scared as his barriers fell down around him. He took a deep breath and made his decision.

“I shouldn’t’ve said that.” He replied slowly, “I was upset and I screwed up… You’re exactly who you need to be, you’re not Ziva and I never expected you to be… You’re you and I’m proud of that, Ellie.” 

He was ready to stop running from his feelings, ready to stop running from the people around him who loved him for some insane reason. He was ready to stop running and start standing still in the moment, he wasn’t sure he knew how to but he was going to do his best to figure it out, not just for himself but for his family.

“Proud of you, Kid.” He repeated when he saw Ellie’s eyes fill up with tears, “know it doesn’t fix it, don’t know if I can fix it but I wanna try.” 

Ellie nodded and blinked a few times, “I miss how things used to be.” She admitted quietly, “When we talked and went for breakfast, when you knew what was going on in my life.” 

Thinking back he realized just how badly he had dropped the ball. He couldn’t remember the last time he and Ellie had done anything not work related together, there had been a time when he had known what was going on in her life, who she was dating, if she was taking any classes or what she was reading, how her family was doing. He couldn’t really answer any of those questions now. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ellie looked at him in surprise, “what about Rule Six.” 

“Rule Fifty One.” He replied with a shrug, “besides I’ve been breaking a lot of rules lately, especially Rule Eight.” 

“Never take anything for granted?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah, took you for granted and I shouldn’t’ve done that.” He replied quietly.

“I appreciate the apology but it doesn’t magically fix everything.” She whispered.

“I know, don’t want you to forgive me… Just give me a chance to make it up to you, okay?”  
Ellie nodded slowly, “okay.” 

“Jack and I will head out tomorrow, give you some time with your family-”

“Stay.” She interrupted, “we have the time off and Jack said that she enjoyed getting out of the city, stay… I mean if you want to, you don’t have to if you had something else planned.”

“We’ll stay as long as you want us to.” Gibbs reassured her quietly, “if you’re sure that’s what you want.” 

“Yeah… There’s no work here, no cases… I need a break from DC and all of the memories there… I thought you and Jack might feel the same way.”

“A break’d be nice.” He admitted, “I’ll check with Jack but I doubt she’s gonna want to leave.”

A slow smile spread across Ellie’s face, “plus I kinda want to see Jack try and survive on a farm.”

Gibbs laughed at the thought and nodded his agreement before wrapping an arm around Ellie’s shoulder, he pulled her against his side and dropped a kiss to the top of her head.

“You wanna talk about anything else?” He asked after a minute of silence.

“Not tonight.” She replied quietly, “sorry I was acting like a brat.”

“I think in this case you earned it.” Gibbs whispered against her hair, “next time don’t run away without tellin’ someone where you’re going, just talk to me or yell at me, whatever you need to do.” 

“Okay.” 

He gave her shoulder one last squeeze before standing up, “I’m gonna go back downstairs.”

Ellie nodded and Gibbs let himself out of the room and shut the door softly behind him. He went down the hall to his room and quickly changed out of his suit and into jeans and a t-shirt before going back downstairs. 

N*C*I*S

Jack looked out over the yard with a contented sigh, she could see John back in the field finishing up his work while there was still daylight and Barbra was in the rocking chair beside her watching life go by.

“It’s peaceful out here.” Jack commented.

“When no one else is around.” Barbra replied with a grin, “when the whole clan is here it can get a little crazy.” 

“I’ll bet.” Jack laughed.

“Do you have a big family?”

“Not really, it’s pretty much just me now, well it was before I moved to DC.” Jack let out another small laugh, “and then I somehow ended up in the middle of the Team Gibbs clan.” 

“According to my daughter that’s not a bad place to be.” 

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Jack admitted quietly. 

She looked behind her when the screen door shut and raised an eyebrow when she saw Gibbs come out onto the front porch alone.

“How’d it go?” Jack asked.

“We’re gonna work on it.” Gibbs replied honestly, “but things are better than they were.” 

She felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder and she reached up and gave it a squeeze.

“She asked if we would stay, I told her I would talk to you.” He added.

Jack looked over to Barbra, “is that alright with you, Barbra?” 

“You’re always welcome here, besides, you came all this way, I wouldn’t just send you home now.” Barbra replied, “and please just call me Barb.”

“Thank you.” Jack replied before looking up at Gibbs, “well if Barb doesn’t mind then I’m game to hang around.” 

“I figured you would be, wanted to make sure.” Gibbs replied before he removed his hand from her shoulder and moved to lean against the railing in front of them. 

N*C*I*S

Jack looked up at the stars with a contented sigh. There was no way she could get that view in DC or San Diego, she couldn’t remember the last time she had seen something so beautiful. As she looked up at the vast sky above her she couldn’t help but wonder about how much her life had changed over the last year. She didn’t get very far into her thoughts before she heard a throat clear behind her, she jumped slightly and turned around in the chair.

“After midnight, what’re you doing outside?” Gibbs asked quietly.

“I’m enjoying the view.” She replied, “you won’t see that in the city, what’re you doing up?” 

“Heard you come out, wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

“I’m fine.” She replied with a small smile.

She shifted in the Adirondack chair so she could get a better look at him and smiled at his mussed hair and tired eyes. She had spent a lot of time with him but she couldn’t remember ever seeing him looking quite so… rumpled. 

“Do you want to be alone?” 

“I wouldn’t mind some company.” 

She slid forward in the chair and nodded to the empty space she had created behind her, Gibbs chuckled and settled himself in the chair before pulling her back against his chest. She felt his arms wrap around her waist and leaned back into him, enjoying the feeling of warmth and safety that his presence brought.

“Thank you for talking to Bishop.” He muttered after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“She told me about what happened.” She admitted quietly. 

She had wanted to bring it up but hadn’t been alone with him all night and she hadn’t really wanted to ruin the peaceful moment.

“I messed up.” Gibbs replied.

“Yeah.” She agreed, “now you have to fix it.”

“I know.” He tightened his arms around her waist, “We good?” 

She shifted in his arms so she could look up at him in the dim moonlight, “we’re fine.” She assured him gently.

“We gonna talk about this?” He asked after a minute. 

She tried to mask her surprise and settled her hands over his on her stomach, she didn’t know why he was suddenly Mister Talkative but she was willing to roll with it. 

“Are you asking to put a name to it?” 

“I don’t do casual, Jack.” He said quietly, “‘specially not with you.” 

“Good.” She replied with a shrug, “because I don’t either.” 

That seemed to put him at ease and she felt him loosed his grip on her slightly and she relaxed back into him with a contented sigh.


	5. Chapter Five

Five

Jack rolled over with a tired groan and buried her face in her pillow, she had been asleep for less than four hours. She and Gibbs had spent another hour outside sitting in comfortable silence before going back inside to their separate rooms after a few whispered words and stolen kisses in the hallway. She hit her hand over her bedside table until she found her phone, she opened her eyes blearily and looked at the time and groaned again.

She heard Gibbs moving around in the bathroom and a moment later the door that joined her room to the bathroom cracked open. She wordlessly patted the blankets on the empty side of the bed and felt the mattress dip as Gibbs climbed onto the bed beside her.

“What the actual fuck is that?” She asked as another loud noise echoed outside her window.

“That’s a rooster.” Gibbs replied with a quiet chuckle.

She reached up and patted her hair in an attempt to make it look half decent without actually having to raise her head but finally gave up.

“It’s too early for this shit.” She muttered.

Although the Army had instilled the habit of getting up early she still enjoyed sleeping in at least a little bit while she was on vacation.

She rolled over to face Gibbs and grinned when she saw that he wasn’t laying under the covers but on top of them, his head propped up on his hands as he smirked down at her.

“Good morning.” He whispered as he reached down to brush a stray hair away from her face.

“Hey.” She replied quietly, “rooster wake you up too?”

“Nah.” He replied with a shrug, “not big on sleep.”

Jack was about to respond when the door to her bedroom was opened slowly and she looked up to see Ellie standing there wrapped in a blanket, her hair tangled and her eyes bleary.

“Hey, Babe.” Jack greeted with a small chuckle.

“The door wasn’t closed.” Ellie muttered, her eyes landing on Gibbs, “I can go.”

“Come on in.” Jack replied dismissively.

She had left her door half open for that exact reason and although she was a bit surprised that Ellie had actually come in she was grateful for it. Ellie pulled the blanket around her tighter and stumbled forward until her knees hit the end of the bed and she fell forward, pulling her knees up to her chest with a contented sigh.

“I’m not even gonna ask about that.” Ellie stated, nodding between the two of them.

Gibbs snorted and shifted his legs to give Ellie more room on the end of the bed, Jack buried her face back in her pillow and sighed. She was just starting to drift back off when she felt a heavy weight land on her back followed by something warm and wet licking up her cheek.

“Max.” She groaned, trying to roll the Bishop’s large Saint Bernard off of her back.

She heard Gibbs chuckle and felt the mattress dip again as he rolled out of bed and pulled the dog onto the space he had just created.

“Go back to sleep.” He whispered, “I’m gonna grab some coffee.”

She muttered a sound of agreement and watched him run a hand over Max’s head and then Ellie’s hair as he left the room.

Downstairs Gibbs found Barb and John sitting at the kitchen island with coffee mugs in their hands, both were already dressed and Barb had a book in her free hand.

“Morning.” He greeted as he made a beeline for the coffee maker.

“You’re up early.” John commented, “did you sleep okay?”

“Slept fine.” Gibbs replied, “Just wasn’t a lot of room left in bed for me.”

“What do you mean?” Barb asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Between the girls and the dog there’s not a lotta space.” He replied, taking a large swallow of his coffee.

He lowered the mug when he heard footsteps on the stairs and saw Jack coming down, she was still in her pyjama’s and she looked half asleep but she had managed to pull her hair back in a short ponytail.

“Thought you were gonna go back to sleep?” He asked as he poured her a cup of coffee, he chuckled as he added an insane amount of sugar to the coffee, “she started snoring didn’t she?”

“Yup.” Jack muttered bitterly as she took the coffee mug gratefully.

“Eleanor slept in your room?” Barb asked, looking between them.

“She crawled in about ten minutes ago and passed back out.” Jack informed her with a sigh, “I’m just happy she’s sleeping.”

She ran her hand over her face and took a long drink from her coffee as she listened to Gibbs and John talk about some issue with his tractor.

N*C*I*S

Jack flipped the bacon in the pan in front of her and listened to it sizzle, Barb was mixing pancake batter at the island and both men were outside doing the morning chores.

“So you and my daughter are close?” Barb asked as she added a bit more milk to the mix.

“She was one of the first friends I made when I moved to DC.” Jack replied, “She’s a good woman and an amazing Agent.”

“We’re pretty proud of her.” Barbra responded, “Even if I do wish she was a teacher or a nun.”

“I could maybe see a teacher but I don’t think I could ever picture Ellie as a nun.” Jack laughed.

She flipped the bacon onto a paper towel and added a few more pieces to the pan, she was just about to slide the cooked bacon into the oven to keep it warm when the back door opened as Gibbs and John walked in.

“I’m digging the cowboy look, Gibbs.” Jack commented, eyeing him up and down.

He snorted and shook his head as he accepted a glass of water from John.

“Breakfast smells good.” John commented, “is Ellie up yet?”

“Not yet.” Barb replied, “I don’t know if I should wake her up or let her sleep.”

Jack bit her lip and tilted her head to the side, obviously debating the question.

“Maybe let her sleep for a bit.” Jack replied, “It would probably be worse to wake her up at this point.”

She knew the chances of Ellie eating if they woke her up were slim to none and she really didn’t want to interrupt the small amount of sleep the young woman was finally getting, even if it was curled up in a ball on the end of their bed.

“She gets mean if you wake her up.” Gibbs commented as he tried to steal a piece of bacon from Jack only to get his hand smacked, “Kinda like, Jack.” He muttered quietly enough that only she heard him.

She rolled her eyes at him and mouthed the word ‘_dramatic’ _before turning back to the task in front of her. Within ten minutes they had finished breakfast and were gathered around the table to eat. They made it halfway through breakfast before they heard footsteps on the ceiling above them followed by Ellie jogging down the stairs and out the door before anyone could say a word, the door slamming shut behind her.

“Does she always go for a run in the morning?” John asked, looking across the table at Gibbs.

“Sometimes.” He replied with a small shrug before going back to his pancakes.

Jack could tell by the slight pull in his eyebrows that he was just trying to reassure the other man. Jack didn’t doubt that Ellie exercised, they had to in their line of work, but judging by the well hidden concern on Gibbs’ face it wasn’t a regular occurrence for her to take off first thing in the morning. They finished breakfast while making idle chitchat and as soon as they were done cleaning up Jack turned to Gibbs.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” She asked quietly.

Gibbs nodded and turned to John, “Jack and I are just gonna go for a walk.”

“Okay.” The older man replied, “I’ve got a bit to do before I can look at that tractor anyways.”

Jack thanked Barb for breakfast and then excused herself to go get changed before reappearing back downstairs to find Gibbs waiting in jeans and an old NIS t-shirt. He nodded towards the front door and they wordlessly left the farmhouse. It wasn’t until they were well out of earshot of the house and a good distance down the long driveway that Gibbs spoke.

“So, what do ya think of farm life?” He asked with a small smirk.

“I don’t think I’ve experienced enough to comment on that yet.” She replied, “But so far I don’t have any complaints besides that damn rooster.” She playfully bumped her shoulder into his before returning to her spot beside him.

Her eyes strayed to the fields to her left and she watched with interest as two horses chased each other around, she couldn’t remember the last time she had been around horses but the large animals had always fascinated her, even if that fascination brought on a healthy amount of fear.

She was so distracted watching the animals that she didn’t notice Gibbs step closer to her, she looked down in surprise when she felt him lace his fingers through hers. She raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on the rare display of affection in public. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze as they continued on with their walk.

“You’re worried about Ellie.” She commented after a moment.

“Yeah.” Gibbs admitted softly, “Something else is going on with her… Just don’t know what.”

“I’m sure she’ll talk about it when she’s ready.” Jack assured him.

She knew it did nothing to stop his worrying but it was probably the best she would be able to do in this situation. She gave his hand another squeeze as she noticed Ellie jogging up the driveway her long blonde ponytail swinging behind her. She dropped Gibbs hand and took a discrete step away from him. She wasn’t ashamed of their relationship at all but she was sure Gibbs wouldn’t want to advertise it in front of his youngest agent.

“Where are you guys going?” Ellie asked breathlessly as she approached them.

“Just enjoying the nice weather and taking a walk.” Jack replied, “did you sleep okay last night?”

“Uh, yeah fine.” Ellie replied vaguely, “what about you two? I heard you come in pretty late.”

Jack’s eyes flicked over to Gibbs to see if he was going to field the question, she fought the urge to roll her eyes when he simply shrugged.

“I wanted to see the stars.” Jack explained, “You don’t get that view in the city.”

“No you certainly don’t” Ellie replied knowingly, “my window looks out onto the front yard.”

Jack winced when she realized exactly what Ellie was implying. They had been caught and judging by the small snort Gibbs made beside her he was really enjoying the slight flush that was crawling across her face.

“If you’re sleeping in separate rooms because of me you may as well just share.” Ellie stated before plugging her earbuds back in and jogging off towards the house.

“Oops.” Jack commented when Ellie was out of earshot.

“Oh well.” Gibbs replied with a shrug as he started walking again.

She watched him incredulously as he walked away. It took her a moment to snap herself out of it and follow him.

“You’re okay with her knowing?” She asked when she caught up with him.

“Doesn’t bother me.” He replied with a shrug, “Does it bother you?”

“No.” She replied, “I just assumed that you would.”

“Don’t assume.” He replied quickly.

“One of your rules?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yup.”

She chuckled and followed him as he turned around to head back towards the house.

“Don’t care who knows.” He added after a few minutes of silence.

She reached down and threaded her fingers through his, “Me either.” She assured him.


	6. Chapter Six

Six

Gibbs was woken out of a peaceful sleep by a quiet moan, he opened his eyes slowly and could see Jack’s face silhouetted in the pale moonlight. Her jaw was clenched tight and her eyes were moving rapidly under her eyelids.

“Jack.” He whispered, he didn’t want to reach out to touch her for fear of startling her but his voice didn’t seem to reach her, “Jack.” He whispered again, this time louder.

She moaned again and buried her face in her pillow, her hand coming up to grip it tightly. He finally reached out and gently touched her hip. She bolted up in bed with a loud gasp, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. He watched her eyes fly around the room in panic before she seemed to remember where she was, he reached up and gently placed his hand on her lower back.

“You okay?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah.” She replied breathlessly.

“Nightmare?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She admitted with a sigh, “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You didn’t.” He lied, “I was already awake.”

Her snort told him that she didn’t believe him but she didn’t bother to verbally acknowledge it.

“Anything I can do?”

“No.” She replied, “I just need a few minutes.”

It hadn’t been a particularly bad nightmare, it wasn’t pleasant by any means but after ten years of torturous nightmares she had developed a grading system and this one had barely reached a five. Some nights she would have nightmares bad enough that they kept her awake for hours on end in a state of panic but this one had been nowhere near that level.

She watched him shift and hold his arm up, she raised an eyebrow but laid down beside him. She had never imagined Leroy Jethro Gibbs as the type to cuddle but she second guessed that evaluation when he pulled her against his side and began to run his fingers through her hair.

“Are you going to be able to fall back asleep?” He asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Eventually.” She replied with a small yawn.

She stretched her arm over his waist, her fingers toying with the hem of his shirt as she listened to his heart beat under her ear.

“Do you think Ellie has them?” She asked quietly, “the nightmares I mean.”

“I think we all do.” Gibbs muttered against her hair.

She sighed sadly and nodded her head, she knew he was right, really she had known what his answer would be before she even asked the question. The problem was that she hated his answer, she hated that anyone else had to go through the nightmares.

“She’s just a kid.” 

“I know.” Gibbs agreed softly.

Realistically she knew they were both wrong, Ellie was thirty-four years old, well into adulthood and more mature than almost anyone else she knew but in her mind she was still a kid and she knew it was even worse for Gibbs, Ellie was his baby.

She stretched against him and nuzzled his chest as his free hand wrapped around her, she breathed in deeply and hummed softly when she was greeted with the scent of old spice and saw dust that clung to him. She closed her eyes and let him surround her, his scent, the feel of his strong chest underneath her cheek, the sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of his arms wrapped around her. It only took a few minutes before she was lulled back to sleep.

N*C*I*S

Gibbs dumped the last of bag of horse feed into the bin in front of himand stood up to stretch his back. It had been a long time since he had done any sort of farm work and he suspected that the weekends spent in his basement working on his boat were the only reason he was still able to move after the last day and a half.

He dusted his pants off and tossed the empty feed bags into the garbage bin, he heard footsteps behind him but didn’t turn around, the familiar scent of mint and woodshavings assuring him of the identity of his guest.

“What’s up, Kid?”

His voice echoed in the empty barn and he could hear Ellie shuffle her feet hind him before there was a bang. He turned around to find her sitting on the wall of an empty stall, her heels hitting the wood as she swung them back and forth.

“Why’re you doing chores?” She asked, ignoring his question.

“Your dad needed help and Jack went for a run-”

“And you were bored and don’t have your boat.” She finished for him.

“Yeah.”

He leaned against the wall and studied her as she drummed her fingers against the wooden stall. Her eyes were downcast and he knew she was hesitating about something, stalling as she debated how to phrase whatever she was going to say.

“Just say it.”

She looked up, startled by his gentle but firm command and bit her lower lip. He tried to soften his expression, he knew her tells, knew when she was nervous and she was definitely nervous in that moment.

“I want to know more about Ziva and Kate.”

The softly spoken words took him by surprise, he had expected questions about Ziva at some point but the thought of her wanting to know more about Kate had never even crossed his mind and he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about her with Ellie… He had no idea what to say or how to explain their relationship.

“Ellie…”

He didn’t want to talk about it, hell he wasn’t even sure he could. He didn’t want to relive every happy, sad, horrible moment of their lives, he didn’t want to think about their quirks, the way Kate rolled her eyes but smiled fondly when he said something that she thought was borderline funny. He didn’t want to think of the fire in her eyes when they disagreed and the way she felt leaning against him, all soft curves and sharp edges when she needed to be, the woman who could have stolen his heart if he had just let her. He didn’t want to think of his daughter’s flashing brown eyes, the way her hair curled wildly if she didn’t tame it, how she laughed and grinned at the man sitting at the desk across from her, how she was always so full of life even in the moments when she wanted to curl up and die… He didn’t want to think about them because it hurt too much and he didn’t care if that made him a coward.

“I know you don’t want to talk about them.” She whispered,”I know it hurts to talk about them,” She added. “Trust me I know but, Gibbs I need to know about them.”

He met her eyes and sighed, “Why?”

He knew why, he knew it was a stupid question but part of him was stalling for time, time that judging by the wounded expression on Ellie’s face was going to cost him a lot.

“Because without them I wouldn’t be who I am today… I wouldn’t have the family I have today and that’s not nothing, Gibbs.” She replied, “Those two paved the way for me, they helped make you and Tim and Tony and Jimmy who you guys are today… I feel like I owe them everything but I don’t know anything about them.”

He could see the desperation in her eyes, the fear of rejection, the fear of the unknown and he hated it and he knew looking at her that if he didn’t answer her question he would risk losing his relationship with his only daughter.

“Who do you want to know about first?”

He could see that she wanted to say Ziva but something about the look on his face must have made her change her mind.

“Tell me about Kate.” She requested, “Abby’s talked about her a few times but I don’t know a whole lot.”

“She liked pumpkin ice cream.”

He wasn’t sure why he said it but it was the first thing that came to mind when he thought of the former Secret Service Agent. He remembered the way she had scoffed at the idea of a pumpkin flavour ice cream but after trying it she had been hooked.

“She slept with a gun, she was Catholic, had three brothers and a sister…. She slept behind her desk on long cases, always on the floor, never with a blanket… She liked skirts and heels, believed in professionalism above all else…She was the first person to know about Shannon and Kelly but she never told anyone about it… She kept Tony in line and could kick McGee’s ass… She and Abs were inseparable…” He trailed off slowly, “She wanted kids, the white picket fence… Had a dog named Toni… Yappy little Jack Russel she said reminded her of DiNozzo.”

“She sounds like someone you’d want on your team.”

“Yeah… She was the first agent I hired after working alone with DiNozzo for two years… Only the second woman I’d ever hired.”

“Who was the first?”

“Jenny Shepard.” Gibbs replied his voice almost reverent.

“Her name sounds familiar.” Ellie replied slowly, “Wasn’t she the Director before Director Vance?”

Gibbs nodded, “First female director of an Armed Federal Agency… Hell of an agent too… Had your desk before Kate… She was the one who brought Ziva in from Mossad.”

“Everyone is connected.” Ellie muttered.

“It’s like that with family.” Gibbs agreed quietly.

“Thanks, Gibbs.” Ellie replied sincerely, “For talking.”

Gibbs nodded, “you wanna hear about Ziva now?”

“Not today.” Ellie said softly, “I think we both need a break, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

What he really needed was five hours alone with his boat and a bottle of bourbon, instead he watched Ellie hope off the stall door and then he went in search of Jack.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

The sound of pounding footsteps and a door flying open followed by the sound of retching brought him out of a dead sleep. He felt Jack bolt up beside him and both were out of bed in two seconds flat and rushing across the hall to the open bathroom. His heart sank as he saw Ellie hunched over the toilet attempting to hold her hair back as she let out a loud sob. He stepped into the bathroom and gently pulled her hair back, dropping into a crouch beside her he ran his hand up and down her back.

“You’re okay.” He muttered as Jack wet a wash cloth and brought it over to him.

He took the cloth with a grateful nod and gently pressed the cool cloth to Ellie’s forehead, he could feel her shaking against him and when he was sure she wasn’t going to be sick he dropped back, the jolt sending enough pain to his knee to make him wince, and pulled Ellie against him. He ran his hand over her hair and felt her continue to shake even as she curled up into a ball, tears streaming down her face.

“Ellie.” Jack whispered gently, “What happened, baby?”

Ellie whimpered and turned her face into Gibbs’ chest and he wrapped his arms around her tighter.

“Stay with me, Kiddo.” Jack whispered, “You’re safe, we’re both right here, we’ve got you… Did you have a nightmare?”

Ellie nodded against Gibbs’ chest and he ran a hand over her hair, he continued the motion as Jack spoke softly to Ellie. He was so focused on Ellie that he barely heard what Jack was saying, her voice a gentle hum in the background.

It took the close to ten minutes to get Ellie completely calmed down and Gibbs’ knees were complaining by the time Jack helped Ellie up.

“Do you want to go back to your room?” She asked quietly.

Ellie nodded and Jack waited until she had stood up, rinsed her mouth and stepped out of the room before holding a hand out to Gibbs who took it gratefully.

“You okay?” She asked quietly, her eyes darting down to his knees.

“I’ll be fine.” Gibbs replied quickly, “More worried about her.”

She glanced out into the hallway and nodded, she was getting more and more worried about Ellie by the minute.

“I’m gonna go check on her.” Gibbs announced quietly, “Go back to bed, I’ll be in in a minute.”

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head before stepping out of the bathroom and down the hall into Ellie’s room.

“You okay?” He asked as he slipped into Ellie’s bedroom.

“Mmmhmm.”

Her response was muffled by the pillow she had her face buried in and Gibbs took a few steps into the room and sat on the edge of the small bed.

“El…” He sighed and rested a hand on her shoulder, “You wanna talk about something?”

She shook her head silently and Gibbs squeezed her shoulder.

“It’s nothing.” She added when she realized Gibbs wasn’t backing off.

“That wasn’t nothing.” He whispered gently.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Ellie snapped, raising her head enough so the words were clear to him, “I don’t want to talk about it, I just want it to stop, I want the nightmares to stop I want to be able to sleep again, I want to be able to eat again, but talking about it doesn’t make it go away.” Her voice cracked and he could see tears welling in her eyes again, “I just want it to stop.”

He reached out and ran his hand over her hair, “I know.” He dropped his hand back to her shoulder and squeezed it again, “You want me to stay for a bit?”

“I’m an adult, Gibbs.”

“Yeah.” He replied softly, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help when you need it.”

She glanced at him wearily but finally nodded and laid back down. He ran his hand up and down her back and waited for her to relax, he continued until her breathing evened out almost fifteen minutes later. He carefully stood up and made sure Ellie was covered before quietly slipping out of the room.

“She okay?”

Jack’s soft voice greeted him as he entered their room, the lights were off but he could see her laying in bed, her head propped up on her arm.

“No.” Gibbs replied with a sigh, “but she’s back asleep.”

“You should try to sleep too.” She replied gently, “there’s nothing you can do for her tonight.”

He slid back under the covers and sighed when her arm wrapped around his waist.

“There’s nothing you can do right now.” She repeated softly, “So just try and relax.”

He gave a mirthless chuckle at the idea but sighed when she started running her hand back and forth over his chest. It took a few minutes but he could feel the tension slowly leaving his body as she continued her ministrations. He allowed his eyes to shut and focused on her movements and her quiet breathing beside him.

N*C*I*S

When he woke the next morning it was to the sound of their bedroom door opening and closing quietly. He rolled over and found the bed empty and Jack’s pyjama’s folded neatly on her pillow. He wasn’t sure how he’d managed to sleep through her getting up and getting dressed. He rolled out of bed and quickly changed into jeans and an old USMC t-shirt before making his way downstairs.

Barb looked up from the newspaper she was reading at the kitchen table and offered him a welcoming smile, “Good morning, you’re just in time I was just about to start on breakfast.”

“Mornin’.” He replied, making a beeline to the coffee maker, “Where’s everyone?”

“John just left to do his morning chores and I think the girls went out for a run.” Barb replied folding the newspaper as she spoke.

Gibbs glanced at the clock and saw that although it was a bit past his normal wake up time it was still fairly early for everyone to be up and out already.

“I don’t think anyone slept great last night.” Barb said when she saw him staring at the clock, “John and I were up an hour before our alarm, I thought I heard Ellie up last night.”

John and Barbs’ bedroom was at the opposite end of the house from the other bedrooms so he wasn’t shocked that they hadn’t heard everything.

“I heard her get up once.” He replied vaguely.

He knew Barb had waiting for an answer but he wasn’t about to worry her or throw Ellie under the bus by telling Barb exactly what had happened the night before.

N*C*I*S

Jack followed Ellie back into the house with a grin on her face, the grin spread into a wide smile when she saw Gibbs standing at the island chatting with Barb and buttering a stack of toast, his coffee cup close at hand and a relaxed look on his face.

“I’m going to go change.” Ellie informed her quietly.

Jack nodded, “Be up in a minute.”

She wandered over to the counter and stole a slice of toast from Gibbs.

“Could’ve asked.” He grumbled.

“Not as fun.” She countered with a wink.

She peeked over Gibbs’s shoulder to make sure Barb was focusing on the stove and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. She turned around to walk away and laughed when wrapped his hand around her upper arm to pull her back.

“I’m all gross from my run.” She argued when he leaned down to press his lips against hers, she slapped her hands against his chest halfheartedly and stepped back as soon as he released her,

“I’m going to change, make sure Ellie has some orange juice when she comes down, her blood sugar is low.”

“Moody?” Gibbs asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Getting there.” Jack replied, “Nothing a bit of juice and some breakfast won’t fix, I’ll be right back.”

He watched her take a bite of her toast before turning on her heel and disappearing from the kitchen.

“Ellie still gets hangry?” Barb asked with an amused smirk.

“Yeah.” Gibbs replied with a small chuckle, “The boys fill her one of her desk drawers with snacks so she can eat while she works.”

Barb smiled but it quickly disappeared as Ellie came bounding down the stairs.

“Good morning, sweetie.”

“Hi, Mom.”

Gibbs poured a glass of juice and passed it to Ellie wordlessly, she rolled her eyes but took it and downed half of it before accepting the plate of toast he handed to her.

“You can set the table, Eleanor.” Barb called over her shoulder, “the eggs are just about done.”

Gibbs finished buttering the last two pieces of toast and handed them to Ellie who added them to the plate waiting on the table. He unplugged the toaster and grabbed a handful of cutlery and proceeded to help Ellie set the table.

N*C*I*S

Jack sat on the top rail of the fence and watched Ellie hit ball after ball far into the field, Gibbs had a wide grin on his face and he looked truly relaxed for the first time since they had arrived inOklahoma.

Jack glanced over her shoulder at the sound of crunching gravel, neither Ellie or Gibbs seemed to notice the car and Jack turned back to their little game, only turning around again when she heard footsteps approaching. A man she would guess to be around McGee’s age held a finger up to his lips and pointed to Ellie. Jack recognized him from one of the many family photos in the farm house and nodded with a grin.

He climbed up onto the fence beside her and waited until Gibbs, who had also noticed his presence, tossed the ball to Ellie.

“Swing, Bishop!”

Jack watched as Ellie startled badly and dropped the bat as she swung around to face the voice.

“George Russel Bishop, you ass!” Ellie cried.

“Now is that anyway to greet your big brother?”

Ellie rolled her eyes and walked forward as George jumped down from the top of the fence to embrace his little sister.

“Hey, Gibbs!” George called, offering the older man a wave.

Gibbs nodded and made his way over to Jack who was still sitting on the top of the fence.

“What’s up, Cowboy?”

He nodded to the empty pail in his hands, “Wanna go for a walk?”

“Are you trying to trick me into doing your clean up?”

“Maybe.” He replied with a shrug, “Is it working?”

“Maybe.” She replied in a singsong voice, she glanced over to Ellie and George who were walking towards them chatting animatedly, “Give them some family time.”

“Decided to take a team vacation, Gibbs?” George asked as they approached.

“Needed to get out of the city for a bit.” Gibbs replied, “How ya been?” He added offering the younger man his hand.

“Good,” George shook his hand with a grin, “JB and the kids are great too, how’ve you been?”

“We’re doin’ alright.” He saw George’s gaze shift to Jack who had just hopped off the fence, “George this is Jack Sloane, Jack this is George, Ellie’s oldest brother.”

Jack held out her hand, “Pleasure to meet you, George.”

She saw the way he gave her a quick once over before raising an eyebrow at Gibbs.

“I work with Ellie and Gibbs.” She added when she saw the unasked question written all over his face.

“Gibbs’ girlfriend.” Ellie muttered with an small grin.

Jack peeked over at Gibbs and saw him roll his eyes but he didn’t argue Ellie’s comment and following his lead she didn’t either. George raised an eyebrow and Ellie elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

“We can go around and pick up all the baseballs.” Ellie offered.

“Nah.” Gibbs replied waving her off, “Jack and I got it, go in and see your mom.”

They exchanged a few more words before Ellie and George wandered off towards the house and Jack and Gibbs started a slow walk in the other direction.

“She seems happier today.” Jack commented as they walked.

“Having George around’ll perk her up a bit too.”

“Did you tell Barb to call him?”

“Nah.” Gibbs replied, tossing a baseball into the bin in his other hand, “He and his family were coming down for the Fourth, Barb said he wanted to come a few days earlier to spend some time with Ellie.”

“She seemed happy to see him.”

“They’re pretty close.” Gibbs said, eyeing her ass as she bent over to pick up the baseball at her feet.

“Eyes off my six, Cowboy.”

She turned around to face him and rolled her eyes at the impish grin on his face. They hadn’t come close to doing anything other than the odd kiss here or there, being surrounded by people and leaving their bedroom door open for Ellie stopped anything else from happening but it was nice to know that Gibbs was interested.

She nodded towards the other baseballs littered throughout the field, “Keep moving, still got half a bucket to go.”

He grinned and fell into step beside her, he waited until she was distracted scanning the field for the last few balls and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her against his side. She laughed as she was jerked against him and automatically turned to wrap her arms around his waist.

“What’s gotten into you?” She asked, her eyes sparkling up at him.

“Look around.” He replied conspiratorially, “We’re alone for the first time in two days.”

She glanced around and saw that they were in fact alone, the farm house small in the distance and the field around them empty.

“So we are.” She agreed, she bit her bottom lip and grinned as he leaned down to kiss her.

She reached down and grabbed the bucket from his hand and placed it on the ground before straightening back up to wrap her arms around her neck. She smiled again as he pulled her closer against him and nudged his nose against hers before claiming her lips in another kiss. They kept it light until Gibbs nipped at her lower lip, she moaned quietly and deepened the kiss. She felt his hands slip a bit lower and she couldn’t stop the smirk when she felt his thumbs slide into her belt loops to pull her closer.

Gibbs pulled back to catch his breath after a few minutes and rested his forehead against hers, “Not that I’m not enjoyin’ this little vacation but I can’t wait until we get home.”

She scrapped her nails over the short hair on the back of his neck and nodded. “It’ll be nice to have some alone time.” She agreed quietly, “But this is where we need to be right now.”

“I know.” He leaned down and pecked her lightly, “Thanks for bein’ here.”

“Where else would I be?” She nudged his chin with her nose and stepped away from him, “Let’s head back before they start thinking we’re doing something we shouldn’t be.”

“Or we could do something we shouldn’t be doing.” He replied suggestively.

She turned and grabbed the last two baseballs before starting back to towards the house, “Nice try, Cowboy but judging by those clouds we’ve got about ten minutes to get back to the house before we get soaked.”

She had seen the clouds approaching a few minutes before and judging by Gibbs’ resigned sigh he had just noticed them. She heard his footsteps behind her and within a minute he had caught up and grabbed her hand in his. She laced their fingers together and gave his hand a squeeze as they walked.

The downpour started when they were fifty feet from the house and Jack broke into a sprint with a loud laugh. She was drenched by the time they reached the covered porch and she pushed her wait hair back with another laugh.

She grinned at Gibbs as thunder clapped overhead, “I’m having flashbacks.”

His smile was soft as he nodded, “Yeah me too.”

She tilted her head at the nostalgic look on his face and stepped closer to him. She hooked a finger into his belt loop, bit her bottom lip and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What’re you thinking about, Cowboy?”

He leaned down and dropped a chaste kiss on her lips, “Wanted to do that first time I saw you.”

“You’re surprisingly sweet today.” She commented softly.

He shrugged, “Every once in awhile.”

She chuckled and grabbed his hand, “As much as I’d love to stand out here with you I need to change into something warm.”


End file.
